Wat Tyler, exiled Englishman
in New York, writes an open letter to Tony Blair
Dear Tony,
As an ex-pat Briton living in the US, allow me to say thank
you. Thank you for making me the most popular man in my office.
After each trip you make here to the US, people cannot stop
telling me how great you are, what a wonderful leader you are
and how great England is. Everyone else has deserted us, they
say, but we can always rely on England. Each time you come to
the US and bend over for GW, my popularity shoots off the chart.
May I also thank you for making it impossible for me to now
leave the US. I used to tell people here that if they ever go
to Europe, they should say they are Canadian. They would get
a much better welcome than if they said they were American.
And now, thanks to you, I'll be doing the same. Your continuous
obsequious fawning of George Bush the Second has taken the special
relationship between the US and UK and turned it into little
more than a subservient one man and his dog relationship. America
is becoming an international pariah and you are dragging Britain
along for the ride.
Where did it all go wrong Tone? There were signs the world was
changing, that it was finally showing that it was capable of
standing up to the US. Your government's stance on the ICC and
Kyoto actually made me think you had a mind of your own, until
now. What happened?
Is it some kind of fantasy to see England relive its golden
age as a great colonizer? A new empire for a new century? It's
been 70 years since Briton gave up control of Iraq, are you
looking once again to rule over those dark skinned inferior
people, to tell them how they can live and what laws they must
follow and who their leader must be?
Or are you living in fear of becoming the Neville Chamberlain
of the 21st century, not wanting to be seen as appeasing Saddam
as Chamberlain did Hitler? In 1938, Hitler was the leader of
one of the largest industrial countries in Europe, had spent
the previous half-decade re-arming a huge German Army, Air Force
and Navy and was hell bent on creating a Europe wide Greater
Germany. In 2002, Saddam is the leader of a country that for
ten years has been bombed almost daily by British and American
planes, has been under the severest sanctions ever imposed on
any country and, according to the recent IISS report, has a
smaller arsenal of WMD than it did in 1991. Where's the comparison
Tony? Where is the threat? If you want to make the world a better
place, are there not more urgent matters to be dealt with first?
Saddam may or may not be trying to get nuclear weapons. Meanwhile
there is another military dictator, Musharraf in Pakistan, who
already has nuclear weapons. How is that different? Are you
appeasing him by doing nothing?
If that isn't it, then maybe it's the economy stupid. We all
know why George wants a war; he needs something to justify all
the extra billions of taxpayers' money that he has given to
his buddies at Boeing and Lockheed Martin. Is that your reason
too? Are George and his cohorts in the US military-industrial
complex giving you a kickback? Thousands of shares waiting for
you once the troops start to roll?
What ever the reason, as you plan with George for the big push,
here are 3 pieces of advice for me to leave you with. Firstly,
instead of having a referendum on the Euro, have one to replace
the pound with the US dollar. With the Pro American rhetoric
you can count on from the Murdoch-owned tabloids, you will win
that one easy, and then all your kick backs from the US military
firms won't have to be
exchanged into pounds and you can save big on the 2% commissions.
Secondly, once your entire cabinet resigns when you invade Iraq,
replace them all with the Conservative Shadow cabinet. You have
much more in common with them than you do with your Labour Colleagues.
And
finally, next time you go to see George W, take a big bag of
pretzels with you, and hopefully
he'll be tempted by a pretzel and we can all hope it will do
the job right this time.
Wat Tyler is a freelance writer living in New York City.
